First, bare with me as you read this post. I have to admit, this all may be odd to blog about, but in this day and age, when you want someone to “listen” to you, it often calls for “typing” it out. And so today, this is how I will do it.

It is hard to believe that 17 years ago today, at 9:11 a.m., our little princess Kayla was born. Looking back through the memories, through photos of course, I honestly do not know where the time went. Kayla was born strong and determined, confident she could accomplish anything she set her mind too. “Anything her brother Nathan could do, she could do better”; that was her motto. Lenny and I loved watching the two of them grow up so close in age because they were the best of friends; but like most friendships, there were ups and downs. But eventually they would find their way back to each other, happy as can be. Kayla has brought so much laughter and joy to this family, and looking back, I love to remember the times I spent dancing with her, hugging and kissing her, when she really didn’t care who was watching. Those were some of the best times of my life; being her mother and her best friend. If I could have bottled those special moments up to hold on to forever, and bring them back out when times were tough, I would. Relationships get complicated, for many different reasons; and not having control over that is a very hard thing to deal with. I guess growing up I never realized how hard being a mother would be, not just dealing with all that came with children, but the heartache that came with every little thing your child, your baby, ever would go through.

Kayla has grown up to be such a beautiful young lady, one who my husband still doesn’t want to see as a young woman. He, as well as I, will always look at her as the spunky little girl who would dress up in my shoes and clothes and sing the ANNIE song for money. She will always be our little princess who loved to wrestle and beat up her brother, or jump off of ledges and sprain her ankle just to say she did it. Even though we don’t always see eye to eye all the time, we will always love her: we love you Kayla. Being a teenager now is much more difficult then when we were in school; way tougher. There is way more ugly out in the world unfortunately, and as your parents we can’t always be there to protect you from all of it. We try, oh how we try. It is so not easy for us, for any parent to see that it is not up to us anymore. The hardest thing a parent has to do is let go. And right now, I am not ready. Don’t think I ever will be. It hurts too much. BUT, I am open to talking about it, and trying to get comfortable with just the thought of it. GASP, that is hard to even think of. But Kayla, you are and have always been the most important thing to us, yes, along with your brother and sister; period. Today, tomorrow and forever, you will always be our baby, our little girl. We hope that life brings you only the best things, and that you will truly follow your heart and your dreams, but most of all that you will believe in yourself and in us. I know to you it may not always seem fair, and that I do make mistakes and am not the perfect mother, but Kayla honey, please trust in God and in the love that dad and I have for you.

We know that the future is yours for the taking. I can promise you that we will always be here for you, no matter how complicated things may be; we will ALWAYS be here for you. Happy 17th Birthday Kayla!
Always, Mommy’s Little Angel! WE love you, MOM & DAD

Here’s Kayla and I 17 years ago.

Below, Kayla today